🤖 Auto-Tag Like a Boss: The Nerdy Way to Enforce Azure Governance

🤖 Auto-Tag Like a Boss: The Nerdy Way to Enforce Azure Governance

“Who created this VM?”
“Why is this resource not tagged?”
“Can someone explain why our cloud bill looks like a space launch invoice?”

If those questions haunt your daily standups, grab your coffee and get comfy — this one's for you. ☕👨‍💻

🚨 The Tagging Apocalypse: What’s the Real Problem?

In a perfect world, every Azure resource would be lovingly tagged with who created it, why, and when.
But in reality? Cloud chaos reigns:

• Resources spun up from portals, pipelines, or sheer panic
• Inconsistent tags (or none at all)
• Nightmarish audits and chargeback reports
• Ops teams playing detective across 50+ subscriptions 😩

Manual tagging doesn’t scale. It breaks governance. It wrecks FinOps.
Time for a smarter, sassier solution.

🎯 Enter: The Talk Nerdy to Me Auto-Tagging Engine™

A fully automated, serverless, zero-maintenance tagging powerhouse that:

• ✅ Auto-tags resources in real-time
• ✅ Doesn't overwrite existing tags
• ✅ Pulls metadata from Event Grid and user claims
• ✅ Works across ALL subscriptions via a single Function App

🧠 Think of it like a tagging bouncer — no resource gets in without the right info on its name badge.

🛠️ Under the Nerd Hood: How It Works

⚙️ The Tech Stack (a.k.a. Azure-native ingredients)

Component	Role
🔌 Event Grid	Captures ResourceWriteSuccess events across subscriptions
⚡ Azure Functions (PowerShell 7)	Processes tagging logic serverlessly
🆔 Managed Identity	Secure API calls without hardcoded creds
🔍 Application Insights	Monitoring & centralized logs
💾 Azure Storage	Code and state storage
🌐 Azure REST API	Applies tags with REST magic

🔄 The Flow of Tagging Greatness

1. Resource is created or modified
   Portal, CLI, pipeline — we don’t discriminate.

2. Event Grid picks it up
   System Topics detect ResourceWriteSuccess.

3. Event routed to the Function App
   Our PowerShell wizard wakes up.

4. Function analyzes and applies tags
   Based on who did what and where.

5. Logs go to App Insights
   For transparency, alerts, and the occasional "aha!"

🔐 Built-In Security: Zero Trust, All Nerd

• ✅ No secrets stored — Managed Identity FTW
• ✅ Fine-grained RBAC only (no broad perms here)
• ✅ Logs every action — perfect for audits
• ✅ Network-isolated, production-safe architecture

📈 Business Value (a.k.a. Why You Should Brag About This)

• 💸 Cost Control: Accurate ownership = reliable chargebacks
• 🧾 Compliance: Every resource tagged, every time
• ⏱️ Time Saved: No more “Who deployed this?” ping-pong
• 🔍 Clarity: Instantly know what’s out there (and why)
• 📊 Data-Driven Cloud Decisions: Plan better, spend smarter

💰 Real Talk: How Much Does It Cost?

Component	Monthly Est.
Azure Function (Consumption)	~$10
Event Grid (first 100K = FREE)	~$5
Application Insights (Basic)	~$25
Storage Account	~$2
Total	~$42/month

> 🧠 *Pro Tip:* Sampling logs in App Insights = instant cost reduction

📎 Download & Deploy the Nerd Stack

Want to peek under the hood? The Azure Function App to automatically tag resources. It:

• Filters out system and deployment events
• Captures user claims from Event Grid
• Applies a consistent tagging schema
• Tries both Az PowerShell and REST API for resilience

👉 Download the full script here

💬 Let’s Talk Nerdy

Ever tried building your own auto-tagger? Got tagging nightmares to share?
Drop your war stories, hacks, or hot takes in the comments.

📣 And if this solution saved you from an audit spiral — we wanna hear about it.

🧠 Talk Nerdy Tip

Don’t wait for a tagging policy to be enforced—automate it before it becomes a post-mortem.